I am Directionally Challenged.

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Hi. My name is Mary. And I am directionally challenged.


My earliest recollection of said problem dates back to high school. My sister and I had been hired to take a truck load of construction material to the dump. When we were given directions we were told to turn north at a certain light. We both shook our heads like we knew exactly what that meant - when in reality - in the middle of this flat prairie land that we live in - neither of us had a clue! Saying 'turn right or left' was the only direction language I knew - and if I'd just asked . . . if only I'd just asked.
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But I didn't and I don't know what we thought would magically happen as we drove towards our destination. Maybe our fairy godmother would show up at that intersection and use her magic wand to point us in the correct direction?!?!?! I honestly don't know. We confidently decided to just turn left and so we proceeded for quite a ways - until we decided there could not be a dump anywhere along the route we were headed. So . . . we turned around - retracing our route until we crossed back through where we had originally turned. We sailed through that intersection and went for miles and miles until we were more uncertain then ever. Lucky for us . . . there was an accident ahead where the lanes narrowed into one and an officer was directing traffic - so as we passed - I rolled down my window and casually asked the officer, "Which way is north?" A more baffled look I have never seen as the officer pointed behind us and muttered, "That way." We were so disappointed that we'd been so horribly wrong. Around again we turned passing back all the things we'd already passed and traveled even further - until at last!!! - we found the dump! Hooray! And so - that lengthy trip remained our little secret for a long long time! :o)


Scenario #2:

A road trip from Texas to Utah. We LOVE road trips!!!! This particular route has been made a kazillion times. It's pretty straightforward. A few odd turns here and there - with lots of great landmarks along the way. It was night - my turn to drive - everyone else was asleep. I was listening to an audiobook. Air Force One. Oooooh! It was getting intense - bad guys vs good guys. I knew I had an important turn coming up in our route. We were in the depths of New Mexico and the exit I needed to take would send us on the path for Colorado. I saw the sign for our exit coming up - and then the audiobook got very intense. Clearly the characters needed my full undivided attention to help defeat the evil villains. Except - about 40 minutes later I noticed a sign that said "Welcome to Navajo Reservation" I thought . . . well that's odd. We go through a lot of reservations on the way to Utah but I never remembered Navajoooooohhhh noooo!!!!!!!!! Whoops! I instantly realized I had missed that crucial exit and had sailed on wherever the road was taking me. I kept looking for a place to turn around but I was locked in for miles because of construction. I just kept praying Bob wouldn't wake up and notice we had crossed state lines into Arizona. :o) But alas - the construction lasted for so long I finally decided to wake up Bob and ask for advice. I braced for his response but luckily my sweet husband adores me and thought it was mildly comical and really no big deal at all. We found a spot to turn around - and enjoyed some fresh new scenery to our usual trip.


Scenario #3

You'd have thought he'd have my number after that . . . A few years later we were headed to Illinois for my Grandmother's funeral. It was a last minute trip and we literally rushed out of town with only our US interstate map to guide us. Shouldn't be hard right?!?!? heh heh heh As we drove out of town Bob confidently handed me the map and said, "You navigate. Stick to the red lines - they are the interstates - we'll stay on the major roads and they'll take us there." So hey - in my defense I did EXACTLY what he said. We made our way across the country and had a lovely time. Bob would ask from time to time what road to take - and I would consult our map and give him the next step towards our destination.

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It wasn't until my Mom called that I realized something was amiss. She was already in Illinois gathered with a house full of relatives. She asked how our trip was going and where we were. Things were great - and I told her we'd just passed through Nashville and would be there before long. She was relaying the information back and forth to the family there - when I heard someone in the background say . . . "Nashville!!!! Why in the world are they in Nashville?!?!?!" My Mom did not relay that particular message back to me - but I had heard it. My mind began to turn and as I hung up - I (being the bright person I am) began to think - why should I not be in Nashville? I pulled out the map and began tracing our route and my heart began to sink. I'd been so involved in tracing the details of the red roads we should stay on - that I'd neglected to pull back enough to notice that by staying on only the red roads we were curving waaaaay out of our way to get to Illinois. It so easily could have been a straight shot there. (Please pause to draw a deep-meaning life-altering analogy here.) I cleared my throat and began . . . "ummm . . . hahaha . . . funny thing about this map here . . . " And again, my sweet patient husband smiled, chuckled and said - "Hey! We've had a really fun trip and seen a lot of fun stuff!" How can I not love him?!?!? Plus, all the relatives got a good laugh - and it makes a great story . . . right?!?!?!?


Scenario #4

Can you believe there's more? No - never mind - don't answer that! ;o)


We were in Minnesota for a family reunion and just traveling along. We'd driven all over the state from one house to another. I don't recall the particular leg of the trip we were on - but I do know I was driving - my Mom was with me - and the van was full of kids. Not only that - but there was another van following us with my sister and her kids and a few cousins too I'm sure. I knew the way to go - but again missed an exit or something. The good news was I still knew how to get to where we were headed - but I also knew we were suddenly taking the loooong scenic route. I kept thinking if i remained confident maybe no one would notice. Nobody ever said anything on the walkie talkie from the other car (phewph!) - and I just kept talking to my mom hoping she wouldn't notice the signs that indicated we were in North Dakota (!!!!) But I forgot the children! Leave it to the children! "Mooooooooommmmm!!! Why are we in North Dakota!?!?!?!?!!!!!! You're lost aren't you!?!?!" Ugh!!! The jig was up! I'd been exposed! Everyone had a good laugh again. Particularly since they were already aware of my previous jaunt through Nashville.


And so my driving adventures go . . .


There was also the time I called Bob in the Philippines to google me home from being terribly lost in the farmland around Denton after my teaching exam . . . and so many other countless such times he's saved me by phone.


And yet - he still lets me drive. He smiles and laughs when we recount the stories - but never makes me feel bad. I really really love him. And he still loves me - even despite my directionally challenged mind!