My husband's cousin posted this on her blog and I had to share it.
We had the opportunity to do just this last night. Well-meaning words don't often ease the pain in moments of grief or despair. Sometimes it's hard to know what to say or do. But last night I knew. We just sat. The kids understood and I knew a precious life lesson was being embedded. We stayed and were just there. There were moments of quiet and stories and memories were told. After several hours everyone's eyes grew heavy and I knew we should go - but when we readied to leave it was obvious we were still needed and so we stayed until it was finally ok. Even then - it was difficult to leave. We sat outside in the car for a bit - all of us wanting to leave our hearts inside. I hope it's something my children always remember. Our hearts felt so full while we were there. I'm so grateful Crystal posted this video. I really appreciated its beautiful illustration.
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3 leave me a note!:
That's a beautiful video. And so very true. Sometimes there are no words. Just one's presence can help though.
Thank you so much. I have found that sometimes i just need someone to be here just to sit or just listen to me over and over again. Knowing that someone is there gives you hope and you keep walking.
I hope however your friends are I hope they are okay. I have wondered what happened to them. I have learned that I am not the only one who has lost a child or gone through a rough time. I pray for the new parents to grief everyday. I feel for them and keep them in my prayers.
Crystal - thanks for your note. After learning so much from your heartfelt posts I have tried to be more sensitive to others and find ways to help. It seems like with the fragility of my students it's always a topic close to home.
Our intake specialist who cares for all our parents of special needs children as they enter the district was long ago a parent herself of a special needs child walking into our school for the very first time. Her daughter had autism and grew up through our school system. The mom is now our wonderful and caring intake secretary and her daughter was 24 years old and living independently in a group home.
The mom is WONDERFUL! Because she has raised a child with special needs herself - she is able to guide and comfort the parents as they start in the program and come to terms with this new world. Katie helped her out all summer with testing and paperwork and she spoiled her rotten! She calls Katie her BFF and has our family over for dinner and always asks about how everyone is doing.
All last week she kept telling me how worried she was about her daughter - that she was sick and the dr said she had a viral infection. She told me every day how she wished she wasn't so far away when her daughter needed her. (The group home is about two hours away.) Saturday morning her daughter was found unconscious and by the time help arrived she was gone.
Our secretary's Dad lives with her and her husband at their home - just a few streets aways from us. On Saturday I started thinking that he'd probably stayed at home instead of going to the group home with them and been in that quiet house all day alone with his thoughts - so the kids and I stopped by about 8pm. Sure enough - he was there by himself - so we went in and he told us all kinds of WW II stories and it was just so wonderful to sit and listen to him. We stayed until almost midnight and really treasured the time we had with him. He's a wonderful man.
The funeral was tonight. It was such a celebration of her life and a beautiful tribute. I know the days ahead will be long ones for them. The mom's office is right next to my classroom and we have so much fun being neighbors. We always try and make each other laugh a million times a day. Even tonight as I hugged her goodbye - she said "I love you so much and we sure appreciate you . . . I don't care what everyone else says about you!" and then we both giggled ourselves silly. I will just pray every day that I will be in tune for when she needs me. I have learned so much from her I only hope I can help her in some small way now too. You are in my prayers too Crystal. You and your whole family. Thank you for sharing your heart over and over. I wish you never even knew the pain you do - but I'm so grateful you've been willing to share your emotions and allow just a small glimpse to your heart so I better know how to help others. Love you!
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