Ok kids . . . BRING IT!!!!!!!

I find myself trying rather unsuccessfully to claw my way out of this deep bewildering pit of "natural bickering of childhood" (as my own children claimed it to be while cheerily defending themselves).  In sheer desperation tonight I found myself constructing a way to manage this self-consuming issue with the least possible amount of parental involvement on my part that I can think of.  (I'm SO going to win mother-of-the year!!!)  ;o)

So here is my newest strategy which will be unveiled tomorrow.  I printed 20 copies after which my printer proudly proclaimed (and then snickered) (I swear!  I heard it!  I'm not kidding!  It's also part of this maddening unnerving plot against me!  I'm ok.  Really.  I am.) that it was out of ink.  With 20 copies we just might make it to about 10 AM.  (Hello sweet Office Depot!  See YOU in the morning!)

You know . . . the more I think about it . . . I do recall bickering with my own sisters.  Maybe it is a natural part of childhood.  Maybe the madness part of it is just me!!!!  Aggghhhh!!!!  And as such . . . I may be seeking professional help!!!  Or maybe I just need a nice relaxing massage.  (not likely!) Or a trip to the store by myself? (Ugh!)  Or a walk to the mailbox.  (Too hot!)  Ok maybe just a walk upstairs. (All the way up there?)  A trip to the bathroom?  (well I'd have to get up to do that) . . . Maybe there's some chocolate in the house.  Hmmm . . . Oh look!!!!  I guess this semi-melted, sticky, fuzzy m&m between the couch cushions will do.  Mmmm Yummy!  Ahhh . . . yep . . . that did the trick.  Now I can go on - I've had my "me" moment.  I'm good for . . . oh . . .say another 10-15 minutes.  HA!!! :o)

Conflict Resolution Request

Circle one:   Is this   URGENT   or a   NON-ISSUE  ?

Is there fire or blood involved?                         YES                        NO

Can this matter  be worked out between the disputing parties without outside mediation?

YES                        NO

Circle one:  Is this a   TATTLE   or a   TELLING  ?

If it is a non-issue, blood or fire is not involved, the matter can be worked out independently between the two parties or the matter is classified as a tattle please place this paper in the closest waste receptacle.

If further intervention is still necessary – please briefly describe below:

Names of parties involved:  ____________________________________________________________________________________

Issue of dispute:  _____________________________________________________________________________________________

Did you like it?  ____  Why not?  ________________________________________________________________________________

What would you like to happen instead?  __________________________________________________________________________

Please communicate your above comments to the other party involved.

If this matter still requires further intercession please sign below, deposit on your progenitor’s pillow.

Your Signature  _________________________________________________________________

All requests will be responded to within a three day period.

Thank you for your cooperation,

Dad & Mom